i get this isnt that different from my usual vent posts, i struggle with shit about the world and myself, but recently its been very repetitive, and has been hurting me for a while. i keep having repetitive thoughts and fears about me being kicked out of school/home, ending up homeless, being murdered, and even some other thoughts which i will not get into because i dont want to scare anyone.
unlike earlier situations, its been a lot more repeititve, i've been having them around 2-5 times every few days, and even realizing my safety, sexurity, and the rarity of those tragedies doesnt help anymore. i need to come to terms that my autism makes me weak but wont make me a target all the time.
also, i keep feeling like i will eventually have to turn to evil to progress in this world, or i will have to live as like a slave to society. there is not really a middle ground, especially with the future being more hateful. eventually, my loved ones will shun me. i know it.
KhaosKitsune617
i just want to feel better again.