Ive been using Newgrounds, Discord and Reddit for a while. I love using all of them for many reasons. Reddit because of the true crime and hilarious off-brand shit/vandalism posts,Discord for the fun of talking to my friends and coping with a crappy family, and NG for its freedom, coping,friendly community and more.

This vent post is very long and is mild but still pretty dark.

But I have been feeling they have been taking a lot of control over my life. I’ve been using the phone ridiculously a lot, and its not good. I use my phone to check my socials and make art. Art is a great way to express myself. But I feel like I am neglecting my non-online identity. Also, I fee like its really addictive, and that I have been obbsessing over it just to talk to some online friends.

I also feel its hurting some of my offline friendships. While I am naturally introverted I want to talk to my friends and family but I always keep having a desire to go on my phone. I feel like a rude person and a neglectful friend. I dont have as many people to feel safe venting to as online friends as I do in real life, but I probably need to avoid neglecting my IRL friends and chill with them more.

I also feel like its ruining my grades. I used to often take out my phone in class and in every opprotunity I could. Now, I limit it to just lunch time and break times, but I still use it in classes where the teachers are more lenient. (history, Spanish, science (except Fridays) and advisory) I need to concentrate on my classes more because I have two D’s on my report card and I fear its gonna turn into an F unless I change. I also need to use my break/lunch times to go to study hours and the library. Plus, using the phone on the way from school and to school is severly draining the battery, so I do need to conserve it by not using it unessecarily.

Also I believe that my social media addiction is spoiling my desires for true hobbies. I’ve been called an “NPC” by my sister (She is very angry and can be rude but is very loving). At first, I was a giant meanie to her. Now I realize why. I can actually paint more (Though currently my colors are limited to blues and reds and purples, with black and white for the obvious shit),learn to actually play my old piano, fail at gardening, fail at guitar, skateboard, play sports and get active. Instead I just spend time on my phone all day. I want to have fun memories without my phone.

Also, I feel like it has kinda turned my mentality and behavior worse. I often get kinda mean at my family for simpler demands and kindly being told to not use my phone. I also keep having the desired to doomscroll which, besides being a poor coping mechanism, is hurting me real bad.

And I do suspect the constant use of my socials has made me pretty cringy. I need to find some normal people aspects to balance out my “weird” aspects. I need to keep up with modern trends (but wont follow them) in order to know whats popular and not feel like an outdated shithead. I still love stuff from the 90s-00s but I need to be aware of current stuff so I dont feel weird. Plus I even used to say outdated memes IRL like the “roflcopter” meme. I no longer do it, but I regret it.

I do say I will change but I always have the urges to check my phone for socials and shit, and its hard to ignore, since I’ve used all three of them since ‘20. Any help?